From time to time, thoughts and feelings fade in and out. In between all of this is a confusion of emotions and signs. Your brain tells you one thing, your heart tells you another. You are in a constant battle with your inner conscience and your actual self. Friends and family become enemy’s and you feel like you do not belong in their world. Day to day chores become battles. You can’t hold a conversation with anyone. You can not put into words the thoughts you have. Tears that once were a rarity, now become normality. You ask yourself, what is life? What am I doing here? You simply cannot describe the emotions your hold within yourself. One minute you are fine, the next the whole word has crashed down on you. Constant thoughts run around in your head, some are very dark thoughts. Pain was once an enemy, now it is a friend. You ask yourself the question, do I really need to be here? Because you are not easily convinced. You feel like everyone is staring at you, talking about you behind your back. You feel like there is no one there for you. You try and confide in someone but they don’t seem that interested. That pain, is the worst pain.